31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Chillerama

Chillerama (2011)

Directed by Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan, Adam Green, Joe Lynch

Starring Adam Rifkin, Sarah Mutch, Ray Wise, Eric Roberts, Sean Paul Lockhart, Anton Troy, Gabby West, Adam Robitel, Lin Shaye, Ron Jeremy, Tim Sullivan, Joel David Moore, Kristina Klebe, Kane Hodder, & Richard Riehle

On the last night of operation, a drive in theater is having a final blow out. Four of the rarest, most vile B movies ever made will be shown for all in attendance. First, there’s the atomic terror of a man’s libido gone monstrous in Wadzilla. Next is the beach blanket bingo musical about our changing bodies and sexual metamorphosis; I Was a Teenage Werebear. Third, the unspeakable account of the Nazi’s secret weapon in The Diary of Anne Frankenstein. Finally, the last film is the offensive classic Deathication. But, one of the theater workers is sick with something highly contagious. The last night of this drive in theater might be the last night on earth as everyone is forced to survive a zombie apocalypse.

You’ve got to be in a very specific mindset to watch Chillerama. The film is what would happen when you combine Creepshow with the sensibilities of Troma. There are four parts of this movie including the wrap around story, with a different writer-director for each one. It’s raunchy, disgusting, and goes for the broadest of humor. Every segment of Chillerama is centered around a rather risqué twist of a familiar horror style and then pushed well past the furthest reaches of your imagination and personal taste. If you’re up for watching a group of neon blue oozing zombies hump a guy to death or for seeing a monstrous sperm get it on with the Statue of Liberty, than this movie delivers.

The first segment is Wadzilla, the 1950’monster movie parody from Adam Rifkin (Detroit Rock City). Rifkin himself stars in the story, with great supporting performances from Ray Wise and Eric Roberts. The giant sperm of the title is a stop motion creation that looks kitschy and cool. The Chiodo Brothers of Killer Klowns from Outer Space fame did the special effects and they have a certain vintage cool to them. The segment is tasteless but a lot of fun.

The second story is Tim Sullivan’s (2001 Maniacs, 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams) beach-blanket-bingo/sexual awakening/werewolf musical, I Was a Teenage Werebear. Of all the segments in the movie, this one feels the most out of place. That’s not a slight against it; this story is the most ambitious part of Chillerama. The musical elements work well enough and the werebear makeup is intentionally cheesy. These creatures have the classic greasepaint face of old werewolf films and the leather chaps of actual bears (Google it). The main male actors are gay porn stars trying their hands at more mainstream film work, so their acting and singing isn’t quite where it should be. But overall the music, campy tone, and sheer audacity it took to make this carry you through. In fact, this segment might work better as a feature with a full budget.

Next is Adam Green’s (Hatchet series, Frozen) old school monster horror spoof The Diary of Anne Frankenstein. It’s crass, absurd, and so very funny. What could be a terrible offense is a work of awesome absurdist humor thanks to the cast. Joel Moore plays Hitler as a cartoony buffoon in the mold of Daffy Duck. In a cast that speaks fluent German, Moore’s take speaks absolute gibberish for every line. Couple that with the hilarious homages to low budget monster movies of the 40’s and the off the wall humor of the script and this segment is easily the most entertaining of the four.

The last segment is the wrap around story that frames the film, Joe Lynch’s Zom-B-Movie. Lynch had the hard job of writing and directing the segment that framed everything else and he mostly succeeds. It’s hard to keep an audience interested in characters you see every 20 minutes or so, but the script does a decent job distilling everyone down to the essence of their characters. The special effects are quite good, giving every zombie oozing orifices filled with bright blue goo. It’s an impressive accomplishment to pull off the look of this stuff. Richard Riehle steels the show as the drive in owner dealing with the last night of his business and passion. His performance encapsulates the love of the drive in experience that these filmmakers clearly have.

If you like crass humor, gross out gore and turning taboo subjects into silly horror stories than this is a fine movie. Even if you don’t like those, give Chillerama a try. This was clearly a movie made by guys who really love anthologies and had a specific voice in mind. If anything, in what other movie can you see Hitler get beaten to death with his own arm?

8 out of 10

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Cut

Cut (2000)

Directed by Kimble Rendall

Starring Molly Ringwald, Kylie Minogue, Tiriel Mora

Australian horror movie Hot Blooded experienced a few legendary production problems. The actor playing the film’s killer, Scar Man, was publicly humiliated by the director. Experiencing a psychotic episode, the leading man murdered the director with the same pair of modified garden sheers Scar Man used in the film. His co-star, a young American actress, killed him before the rampage could continue. Now, the only known prints of Hot Blooded are said to be haunted. A group of film students have ignored the warnings and the stories about the people who tried to finish the movie. They’re dead set on finishing Hot Blooded, and they’ve even convinced the former leading lady to appear in their additional shots. So a bunch of college kids go to a remote filming location with a cursed print of film thoroughly convinced nothing bad could ever happen.

You know a movie is bad when its 82 minute runtime feels interminable. Cut tries to be a meta commentary and homage to 80s slasher movies but fails to be any fun. The kills are gory, the story is all about putting annoying characters in bad situations, and the killer is kind of interesting. Unfortunately none of that matters when the script is dumb, the characters aren’t entertaining, and the novelty of seeing Molly Ringwald wears off.

The special effects are mostly decent, making them the only enjoyable part of Cut. The kills are in true 80s slasher form. They’re gross and painful while aiming for a sense of sick satisfaction. The giant, gnarly garden sheers make for an interesting signature weapon and adds a unique visual spin on every kill. They’re not the greatest effects in the world, but they are probably the best part of this movie.

The cast has two notable surprises and a bunch of people who aren’t that good. The surprises come in pop singer Kylie Minogue and John Hughes muse Molly Ringwald. Minogue doesn’t necessarily do anything bad; it’s just a surprise to see her in a very brief role in a slasher flick. Ringwald on the other hand has a substantial part where she seems to enjoy chewing scenery as a stuck up, washed up movie star. The rest of the cast manages to get through their lines without many hints of emotion, nuance, or humor.

Cut has a cool premise for a killer that was done slightly better in 2008’s Midnight Movie. So if you want to see a slasher flick centered on cursed film, see that movie. If you want to see Molly Ringwald slum it in an Australian horror comedy that manages to be neither scary nor funny, perhaps you should reevaluate what you want from your entertainment.

2 out of 10

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Cemetery Man

Cemetery Man (1994)

Directed by Michele Soavi

Starring Rupert Everett, François Hadji-Lazaro, Anna Falchi

Every night in the small Italian town of Buffalora, Francesco Dellamorte kills the recently deceased. The cemetery watchman is duty bound to kill the living dead when they rise from their graves after seven days in the ground. The local government has no problem believing Francesco battles zombies all night, the mayor is even quite grateful. But he won’t assign anyone to help or relieve Francesco of his obligations. With only his mentally handicapped assistant for company, Francesco is stuck in an endless cycle of killing the dead. But he meets a woman who changes everything and they fall in love, only for her to die. And then die again at his hands. But then Francesco sees her alive again, except it’s a different woman. And he meets another woman that looks just like his lost love. Francesco doesn’t know what to make of this, but it’s all part of his journey through love and death.

There’s no description of Cemetery Man that will really do it justice. The script is based on a novel by the creator of Italian comic book hit Dylan Dog, Tiziano Sclavi. Is it a reflection on life, love, and death? Is it a slapstick/existential horror comedy about a man in Sisyphean cycle? Is it an art house zombie film? It’s all of those things and more. To me, Cemetery Man is a stylish meditation on the mundanities of life and the inevitability of death. But I’m not even sure that’s right. The movie allows for multiple interpretations.

Director Michele Soavi isn’t all that interested in providing answers. He lays on the symbolism thick and loves mixing it up with a great deal of physical comedy. The whole movie is very dreamlike. The seemingly inescapable nature of Francesco’s life, the hazy focus of every daylight shot, and the Three Stooges inspired shticks all make for an unreal narrative. Instead of feeling unfocused, Cemetery Man earns a unique style that’s both entertaining and contemplative. It’s like the screenplay for Evil Dead 2 got mixed with a philosophy thesis paper and an Italian culture midterm.

The makeup and practical effects are fantastic. The zombies look so wonderfully wretched, finding an odd beauty in decay. They have a dirtier look because of their recent exit from the grave. Some even have bits of shrubbery and plant roots in them. Francesco also sees the Grim Reaper, who appears in full daylight to speak with him. The Reaper looks absolutely ethereal through costume, makeup and a little puppetry. Cemetery Man is all around an awesome show of practical effects craftsmanship.

Rupert Everett does well as Francesco, ably conveying the numbness of his existence while also pulling off the longing and frustration. François Hadji-Lazaro is hilarious as Gnaghi, Francesco’s mentally handicapped assistant who only says “Gna”. The slapstick and physical comedy is relegated to Hadji-Lazaro’s part and he pulls it off splendidly. Anna Falchi doesn’t really have the material the other characters get, so her acting leaves a little to be desired. However, she does manage to play three different parts in addition to appearing full zombie and fully naked. So, she definitely has the guts to tackle a lot in one movie.

Cemetery Man is so beautiful, imaginative, and fun. If you don’t mind a lack of answers and a lot of eroticism (from both Everett and Falchi), this movie is a real gem.

9 out of 10

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Night of the Creeps

Night of the Creeps (1986)

Directed by Fred Dekker

Starring Jason Lively, Steve Marshall, Jill Whitlow, Tom Atkins

Chris and his friend J.C. are having a hard time fitting in at college. The frats are unwelcoming, the school work is difficult, and alien slugs are everywhere. Woken from a frozen slumber inside the university science building, the slugs from space start invading everybody’s face. They burrow deep into the head and turn people into the marauding undead. With the help of a haunted detective and Cynthia, the girl of his dreams, Chris is going to have to find a way to survive the night besieged by creeps.

Along with The Monster Squad, Night of the Creeps is another horror-comedy gem from Fred Dekker. There are so many honest attempts at multiple genres with a lot of respect. But, there are very few moments in this movie that takes itself seriously. Creeps is an homage to B movies, a sci-fi thriller, and a zombie movie all in one. There are even elements of slasher films and noir. Naturally, the movie feels like it’s being pulled in about eight different directions at once. But somehow it works and the movie becomes this joyous explosion of genre love.

The special effects are certainly showing their years, but still look pretty good. The alien getup looks uncomfortably close to a baby with a deformed head, but with skin texture akin to a thick blanket. On the other hand, the slugs have remained thoroughly disgusting and convincingly slimy. The zombies look pretty great, especially whenever their heads are split open and there’s just an alien slug hanging out. The effects remain mostly grossly enjoyable.

There aren’t a lot of great performances in Creeps, but there are two worth mentioning. Jill Whitlow gives her character something very few supporting women have in horror: depth. Her Cynthia is independent, smart, sensual, and able to handle a flame thrower on her own. Tom Atkins hams it up hard by fully committing to the detective being a true blue noir character. He spits out cheese ball lines like a champ and treats everything seriously. His performance adds so much humor to the film.

Night of the Creeps is silly, disgusting, and a raucous good time. The kitchen sink approach to storytelling makes the film ludicrously fun. It’s one of the reasons you wonder why Fred Dekker didn’t have a bigger career.

8 out of 10