31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Tales from the Crypt

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

Directed by Freddie Francis

Starring Joan Collins, Peter Cushing, Roy Dotrice, Richard Greene, Ian Hendry, Patrick Magee, and Barbara Murray

            Five strangers get lost from their tour group in some old catacombs.  They wonder into a large hall with a man waiting.  He is the Crypt Keeper, and he knows how each of these people will die.  The woman in the group will be pursued by a psychopath dressed as Santa after murdering her own husband on Christmas Eve.  One man will know what it is like to feel left behind after leaving his own wife.  Another man will be shown how truly heartless he is by a man he killed.  A businessman will find that his wishes can come true at a cost.  And finally, the last man will know why he should not mistreat the disabled in his care.  Of course, being that this is based on the Tales from the Crypt comics and others from EC Comics, there is a twist in store for all involved. 

            This is a treat of a movie for horror fans.  This is an Amicus production, Hammer Horror’s chief rival in English horror cinema.  Their sets are wonderful and well adorned.  The craftsmanship of the filmmaking is top notch and consistent through all of the segments.  And it is a great slow burn picture, taking its time even in the individual segments.  All of the things I just listed are why I like the movie, and I know that these could be reasons why others might like it.  But, Tales from the Crypt could be murder for anyone who cannot sit still and let the film develop at its own pace.  Even for me, the movie dragged in certain parts.  But it always managed to get right back into the shocks fairly quickly. 

            The acting is great from all involved.  The special performances of the movie belong to Peter Cushing and Joan Collins.  Hammer Horror mainstay Cushing is a fantastic dual performance as both a man driven to suicide by his cruel neighbors and the vengeful ghoul who comes back for their hearts.  Collins throws herself into the role of a wife who just murdered her husband but cannot call the police when a manic tries to get her.  The practical effects are satisfactory, especially Cushing’s zombie form.  The real wonder of Tales from the Crypt is just how effective it is at building tension within the time frame of a short segment and repeating it with each subsequent one.  Each part of the movie builds towards a horrifying climax that owes more than a little bit of credit to the EC Comics source material. 

            For those that love a good anthology movie: find a copy of this movie.  It may move a little slow, but it delivers a punch with every part.  Just try to limit the “Boys and Ghouls” jokes.  This one aspires to be far classier than the original comics, and for the most part it succeeds. 

9 out of 10

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Tales from the Darkside: The Movie

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Directed by John Harrison

Starring Deborah Harry, Christian Slater, David Johansen, William Hickey, James Remar, and Rae Dawn Chong

            An imprisoned young boy is slated to be the main course of a woman’s dinner party.  To stall for time and avoid evisceration, the boy starts telling the woman stories from the book she left in his cell.  He reads three macabre tales while she should be preparing him for dinner.  First, the boy tells a story of a bookish college student who has been cheated out of a scholarship.  When he gets his hands on a mummy, his rivals and victimizers feel the wrath of his hard studying.  Second, an old man hires a contract killer for the oddest job of his career: kill a deceptively evil black cat.  Finally, there is a story of man who is spared death at the hands of winged monster provided he never tells anyone about it.  After three stories, it is time for the boy to face this woman’s dinner plans.

            Tales from the Darkside is a mostly decent anthology movie.  It feels like there could have been more done to make some segments work better.  However, it also does not really fail all that often.  The bookending story is the weakest of the bunch, but that is forgivable.  It sets up the segments well enough and gives you a palate cleanse between each.  Both Deborah Harry and Matthew Lawrence as the woman and the kid respectively barely manage to make it through their scenes.  Lawrence is more annoying than scared for his life.  Harry alternates between looking like she does not care and looking like she is balancing her checkbook in her mind.  But again, it is just supposed to introduce each story. 

            The three segments vary in quality, but all are at least decent.  The first segment, “Lot 249”, has a lot going for it.  It has three major actors at various stages of their careers: Christian Slater, Julianne Moore, and Steve Buscemi.  Slater and Moore do not do much with their roles except act waspy and conniving.  Buscemi has more fun with his role, playing it arrogant and vindicated all in one breath.  The mummy looks alright and there is even a fun scene with him getting taken apart.  Not bad, but not great.

            The second segment is the most enjoyable for its sense of morbid humor.  “Cat from Hell”, based on the Stephen King story of the same name, feels like a really dark episode of Looney Tunes.  The killer cat murdering people is nearly always juxtaposed with it looking playful and cute.  One of the murder flashbacks uses an obviously fake cat while it is smothering someone.  The whole bit is hilarious, unintentional or not.  Plus, it is probably the most adorable asphyxiation ever in a horror movie.  David Johansen is the other part of what makes this segment good.  You always feel like he is about to explode, twitching violently and starring with murderous intent.  Seeing a cute cat do some unspeakably terrible things to the lead singer of The New York Dolls is worth the rest of the movie.  This one is the real winner of the movie.

            Finally, the third piece is called “Lover’s Vow”.  This is the straightest horror in the whole film.  It has a certain fable-like quality to it and an ending right out of the pre-Disney fairy tales.  The real highlight of this segment is the monster suit and effects, which are quite good.  Outside of that, however, the segment flounders a bit.  The characters are thin and the actors just manage to carry it until the creature reemerges.  It is another segment that needed a little more to make it special. 

            Tales from the Darkside: The Movie is no classic, but it still has some moments of a fun horror movie.  Seek this out if you love anthologies and expect to be underwhelmed.  If you are hungry for a new anthology, this will be but a snack. 

6 out of 10